Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Back to work

Wow... I obviously got very preoccupied and neglected my blog which I thought I would be SO good about keeping up... bah!

Since my last post I have actually had surgery for my HS. That was an interesting journey... I got talk to a surgeon who belabored the point that I needed keep up on my hygiene! WHAT?!! you dumbass, I have HS! Which causes boils that drain constantly...those constantly draining boils drain puss that smells putrid! Good Lord, don't you think I KNOW about hygiene? Hell, I'm afraid to stand close to people because I never know when something is going to drain and that awful smell with waft up from me! I didn't go to see my Chiropractor for 6 months, much to my OWN demise because a boil broke during an adjustment and I smelled horrible and was SO embarrassed! And this jerk lectures me about hygiene.... grrr!

At any rate, after hearing how the surgery will not CURE my HS, he agreed to do it. It was done on August 28th. The surgeon said that it was going to be a 8-10 week healing period because HS heals slowly.... yeah well 4 weeks later he is telling me that I can go back to work! lol Dumbass!

I'm fast healer! I TOLD him that I was fast healer, he said that due to my age and my obesity, not to expect to heal quickly. mmhmm...whatever!

So now I'm back to work on October 8th. Yuck! I really should be glad that I have a job and I keep telling myself that. The job market is tough on fat black women who have not let themselves reach their full potential. I know that... gosh do I KNOW that! Even where I work... supposedly the last bastion of touchy feely work environments that "celebrate" all workers, I am treated like an idiot and looked at with hateful/mocking eyes from these young, white male jerks who are so full of thier own hype, no one exists in their worlds. All I can say is that I'm tired.

Corporate America is not a friendly place and I'm afraid that I just don't have the fight in me that I used to have. I'm tired of the double standards, the emotional bullying and people hiding behind "policy" to discount and ignore people just trying to do their jobs well.

I just don't know where I belong anymore... it's so sad...